Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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