Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
