My room smells like vodka and shame
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
