So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
