I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
