I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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