Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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