Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
