just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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