I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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