but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
