I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
