i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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