Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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