I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i believe in u and ur pee
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
