haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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