this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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