no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
