defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
