if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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