why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
