i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
