found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
