its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize