i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How naked do you want me to be?
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