It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
