Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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