The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That's intense
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
