her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
