38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
