The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
