why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
