the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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