I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
