I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
