Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
