I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
