it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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