final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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