Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
