well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sext me about skeletons
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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