ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
