...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
