i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
