Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
