I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
