They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
