I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
