You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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