how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
dude. I can hear the air.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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