i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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