Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
