He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
