It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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