Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
