How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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