maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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