dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize